Coming Back to Yourself After a Season of Survival
Sometimes a difficult season ends, but you don’t immediately feel like yourself again.
You may have made it through a loss, a period of chronic stress, a painful relationship, or months of simply trying to keep everything going. From the outside, life may look more settled now. Yet you still feel tired, on edge, or unsure what you need.
If that sounds familiar, there is nothing wrong with you. When so much of your energy has gone toward getting through each day, reconnecting with yourself can take time.
When getting through becomes your focus
During a hard season, you may learn to put your needs aside because there is always something more urgent. You answer the messages, go to work, care for other people, and handle what is in front of you. You might even be very good at it. You might look like you’re functioning on the outside while struggling on the inside.
Then, when there is finally room to pause, you notice how far away you feel from yourself. Perhaps you aren’t sure what you enjoy anymore. Perhaps rest feels uncomfortable. Or perhaps you keep waiting to feel relieved, and instead you feel a little lost.
I think it can be tempting to ask, why am I still feeling this way? Shouldn’t I be past this by now? But surviving something difficult is not the same as having had space to process it. You deserve patience with the part of you that kept going.
Reconnection can begin small
Coming back to yourself does not have to mean making a big change or finding a version of yourself from before everything happened. You have lived through something, and it may have changed you. There is room to get curious about who you are now.
You might begin by noticing one small preference: Do you want quiet or company today? Would it feel good to move, or to be still? Is there something you have been saying yes to when you really need a little space?
Some days, you may know the answer. Other days, you may not. Even giving yourself permission to ask is a way of making room for your own experience again.
If it feels supportive, you could take a moment right now to notice where your body meets the chair or the floor. You don’t need to change your breathing or make yourself relax. You might simply notice what feels present, then look around and find one thing you like seeing. You can stop at any point.
These moments may seem small. After a long time spent responding to what everyone and everything else needs, having a choice can matter.
You don’t have to find your way back alone
Sometimes reconnection happens through a conversation where you can finally say how hard it has been. Sometimes it happens through movement, through grief, through discovering a boundary, or through being with someone who does not expect you to have it all figured out.
My own experiences have shaped the compassion I bring to this work. In sessions, I draw from talk therapy, EMDR, and body-based approaches, including trauma-sensitive yoga, to help people explore what they have been carrying at a pace that feels right for them. There is no single way you are supposed to heal.
If you’ve been in survival mode for a long time, you don’t need to rush toward a new version of yourself. You can begin by noticing what you need today. And you can let someone support you as you find your way.
Warmly,
Adrienne Burns, LPC, LAC, RYT200, TCTSY-F
I offer online therapy for adults throughout Colorado who are navigating trauma, grief, burnout, and life transitions. If you’d like to learn more about me and my approach to therapy, you can visit my About Me page. If you’re curious about working together, you’re welcome to reach out for a free 15-minute consultation. You don’t need to know exactly where to begin before we talk.